Psalm 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your babies and dashes them against the rocks.
Ouch. That pretty rough psalm was written by the rivers of Babylon. In the Messengers series, B'vel was very loosely based on Babylon. It was more the general idea of Babylon than the city or empire. The next two books in the B'vellah War series take place during the war. That's not really a spoiler. ;) I've been wrestling with a lot of things for those. One of them is how to wage war against the enemy in a way that won't shock readers. In modern times we have all these rules and restrictions. In the U.S. people aren't used to the realities of combat. In real warfare soldiers do whatever they have to do to win. There's no coddling of the enemy. It can be merciless.
In Messengers, I tried to have the heroes treat prisoners very well but be somewhat ruthless in combat. I didn't describe body parts and rivers of blood or that sort of thing one could find in other books. I don't want to write stuff like that. However, the sequel is a full-blown war. Messengers fight to win, as was stated in the first series. Winning against a superior enemy requires drastic steps. That psalm came up in my Bible reading today. I think that sets my limit on what I'm allowed to do. There won't be any scenes where people smash babies against rocks while smiling.
That Don't Work
I'm seeing some progress for my That Don't Work YouTube channel. The greenscreen stands and clamps arrived today. I'm still waiting on the smoking pipe, which will be for gags not a corrupting influence on kids, and microphone batteries.
I need to dedicate the corner of a room for the "studio", but I don't have a lot of room to spare. I've been trying to make it work. I have some cheap studio lights. The stands have a certain footprint, as does the greenscreen setup. I'll be sitting in a chair. The space required is adding up. There are more problems than that, but it's kind of depressing.
As all this has slowly progressed, the concept of the channel has, too. It's going to have to be a show, at least the writing stuff. I'll have other videos like my Star Wars song. What's Darth Vader's helmet really for? If something could go viral, it would be that. If there's viewer mail, answering some of it on the show would almost automatically be funny.
There's money to be made on YouTube, but I'm not sure how universally appealing my concept is. Here's what I'm thinking. If I can make any money from it, great. The real value might be in book sales. It would take somewhere around 1,000,000 views to equal about 486 sales of the $2.99 books. If I had a million views, the value could mostly be in the promotional aspect. Some writers have YouTube trailers, etc. Some have blogs and websites. The show would be my version of that.
And, of course, I'd have to write it. It would all be writing practice. If everything goes well, I'd be devoting at least several hours a week to produce a show that might run 10 minutes or less that would make enough money for me to write full time. If I could get anywhere close to 1,000 sales a month, that would be possible.
Friday, February 26, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
YouTube Prep
I've created a YouTube channel for making writing videos. The basic concept is I'd play an English aristocrat type of character discussing "literature". I'd talk about a bad moment in an otherwise good, well-written book(or wherever) that either didn't work or didn't make a lick of sense then explain why it doesn't work and tell how to avoid that mistake or how to fix it. It would all be done with a slant toward humor and exaggeration while conveying useful tips and tricks. I wouldn't be an expert, guru or mentor, but it's not necessary to be those to spot mistakes. The idea is not to make fun of someone or that person's work. It's to learn from a bad moment while having fun. To make that happen, I'd want to avoid books that are genuinely bad.
You put what in your story?
I do so dearly hope you avoid that mistake in the future.
That's most of my costume. Rich jacket and puffy ascot tie with a pipe and lots of gold trim. I don't have the pipe yet. It would be for gags only and not a bad example to children. The glasses are part of the costume. These pics aren't the best. It was windy and cold. My "photographer" fought me every step of the way. This isn't the exact look I'm going for, but it's the general idea. I probably need a tacky gold ring now that I see the pictures.
The irony of all this is that the Messengers series is FILLED with things you're not supposed to do in your writing. I'd be sharing tips while standing on a manual of what to never do. I hope to get something up in a week or two.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Book 2 Hiccough
One of the things I needed to do before doing anything more on book 2 of the B'vellah War series was to download the Messengers books to my Kindle and go through them looking for foreshadowing I may have forgotten, minor characters who need to return, plot ideas and general continuity things. I'm big on continuity. I was reading through book 1 and saw a ton of things that needed fixing. Most of it was simple, but the farther I got the more depressed and discouraged I felt. I couldn't believe what I was seeing or imagine how I'd missed so many things. That was hundreds of thousands of words ago. My style and skills have changed. But surely not that much, right? I couldn't believe all the junk that needed fixing. I was horrified and printed the book out to make fixes. I noticed on page one that my printout didn't match what was on my Kindle. That's when I started to freak. It looked like Amazon had not properly received the final files I uploaded way back when.
Fortunately, it turned out that my account is set to a previous version of the books and not the live version of today. Downloading anew did nothing. I had to get Amazon to update my account before downloading would give me the current version. I'd been freaking out thinking people were downloading that other version.
Once I started going through the live version, which I was afraid to do at first, it went much better. There are still things that need fixing. Too many exclamation points. Verb tenses that are harder to read. I'm not happy with all the dialogue. I'm on the lookout for voice problems. It wouldn't hurt a thing to trim the book down so it flows faster. One thing I'm happy with is the humanity of the characters. Despite any rough or embarrassing things I'm seeing, I see gold shining under the dirt.
And then a miracle happened.
I got an email this week from CreateSpace that they couldn't make a deposit, because my bank information was wrong. I changed banks in early 2014 after someone charged almost $120 to my account, and my bank wouldn't help me. I forgot to change my info at CreateSpace, because nobody ever bought my books in paperback. Well, last summer and fall someone bought 5 books. How did that happen?
I'm waiting on $2.56 to appear in my account.
That Don't Work
Sometimes I talk about the technical side of writing. I've decided to make a blog about things that don't work in books I read or things that don't make a lick of sense. I might also talk about things in life that don't work or don't make sense. The idea is to offer helpful writing advice in a humorous way. This is a natural for a YouTube channel. Check it out here.
Fortunately, it turned out that my account is set to a previous version of the books and not the live version of today. Downloading anew did nothing. I had to get Amazon to update my account before downloading would give me the current version. I'd been freaking out thinking people were downloading that other version.
Once I started going through the live version, which I was afraid to do at first, it went much better. There are still things that need fixing. Too many exclamation points. Verb tenses that are harder to read. I'm not happy with all the dialogue. I'm on the lookout for voice problems. It wouldn't hurt a thing to trim the book down so it flows faster. One thing I'm happy with is the humanity of the characters. Despite any rough or embarrassing things I'm seeing, I see gold shining under the dirt.
And then a miracle happened.
I got an email this week from CreateSpace that they couldn't make a deposit, because my bank information was wrong. I changed banks in early 2014 after someone charged almost $120 to my account, and my bank wouldn't help me. I forgot to change my info at CreateSpace, because nobody ever bought my books in paperback. Well, last summer and fall someone bought 5 books. How did that happen?
I'm waiting on $2.56 to appear in my account.
That Don't Work
Sometimes I talk about the technical side of writing. I've decided to make a blog about things that don't work in books I read or things that don't make a lick of sense. I might also talk about things in life that don't work or don't make sense. The idea is to offer helpful writing advice in a humorous way. This is a natural for a YouTube channel. Check it out here.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Live Long and Prosper
There was an article about a new, possible longevity treatment. It extends the lives of mice up to 25 to 35 percent and lets them live healthier lives. Technical details are in the article. The lifespan in a human would be 115 to 120, if it works in people, too.
It wasn't that long ago that another anti-aging treatment made the news. That one could help people live to 120, and since it's an already known drug, it would be cheap to buy, less than 10 cents a pill.
If these treatments actually work, I wonder if they would enhance each other and increase lifespan beyond 120. That would be pretty interesting.
If you paid really close attention in the beginning of the Messengers series, it was mentioned that Aubrey the Messenger died about 100 years before book 1. The Marhelan War was 100 years before that. She would have been about 20 when she went to Yesh. Therefore, she died around 120 years old after a disease-free life. Honestly, it should have been longer, but for story reasons I had to limit it. My original plan was for them to live over 900 years. It just didn't work storywise.
I was thinking about these longevity treatments. The first people to get them would be the rich and powerful. Before genetic therapy was legal in the U.S., I saw an interview with a politician, I think it was Geraldine Ferraro, in which she casually mentioned that genetic therapy had cured her cancer. She didn't say where she got it. I was surprised at the time because that was illegal. Apparently, she had access to health care the average person didn't. But anyway. What if corrupt, evil politicians suddenly started living to 120? It's almost impossible to vote them out of office now. The re-election rate in congress is about 98% last time I heard a statistic on it. Would God have to intervene to remove those people? Would we see them dropping dead for no apparent reason? Would they start having freak accidents? How would that work spiritually? I'm not talking about good people. I mean the evil ones. Would God's hand become noticeable? It's something to think about.
For the record, I'm all for longevity treatments. I think the Tribulation is too close for me to see much benefit, but I'm all for it. Because of what God told Adam in Genesis, the human lifespan is limited to just under 1,000 years. I think God would let us do a lot in this area, since it wouldn't grant immortality. Spiritually, I don't have a problem with people living hundreds of years. I just wonder about the evil ones and what they would do with their long lives. What if the next Hitler had a 120 year lifespan?
It wasn't that long ago that another anti-aging treatment made the news. That one could help people live to 120, and since it's an already known drug, it would be cheap to buy, less than 10 cents a pill.
If these treatments actually work, I wonder if they would enhance each other and increase lifespan beyond 120. That would be pretty interesting.
If you paid really close attention in the beginning of the Messengers series, it was mentioned that Aubrey the Messenger died about 100 years before book 1. The Marhelan War was 100 years before that. She would have been about 20 when she went to Yesh. Therefore, she died around 120 years old after a disease-free life. Honestly, it should have been longer, but for story reasons I had to limit it. My original plan was for them to live over 900 years. It just didn't work storywise.
I was thinking about these longevity treatments. The first people to get them would be the rich and powerful. Before genetic therapy was legal in the U.S., I saw an interview with a politician, I think it was Geraldine Ferraro, in which she casually mentioned that genetic therapy had cured her cancer. She didn't say where she got it. I was surprised at the time because that was illegal. Apparently, she had access to health care the average person didn't. But anyway. What if corrupt, evil politicians suddenly started living to 120? It's almost impossible to vote them out of office now. The re-election rate in congress is about 98% last time I heard a statistic on it. Would God have to intervene to remove those people? Would we see them dropping dead for no apparent reason? Would they start having freak accidents? How would that work spiritually? I'm not talking about good people. I mean the evil ones. Would God's hand become noticeable? It's something to think about.
For the record, I'm all for longevity treatments. I think the Tribulation is too close for me to see much benefit, but I'm all for it. Because of what God told Adam in Genesis, the human lifespan is limited to just under 1,000 years. I think God would let us do a lot in this area, since it wouldn't grant immortality. Spiritually, I don't have a problem with people living hundreds of years. I just wonder about the evil ones and what they would do with their long lives. What if the next Hitler had a 120 year lifespan?
Friday, January 29, 2016
Drafting
Since installing the new power supply, the computer has worked flawlessly. It looks like that was the problem all along. Buying a new UPS would still be a good idea, but it'll wait.
I've been working on the YA book. I didn't get the rough draft finished last weekend the way I wanted to, but I did get it finished this week. I'm now going through it polishing it up and fixing things. It's set in the relatively near future a few years after the economic collapse and breakup of the U.S., though that's not the main focus. No, it's not a depressing dystopian novel. It's about a 16-year-old girl who, along with a few hundred other people, gets trapped in virtual reality and has to fight the forces of darkness to escape.
At this point, I hope there's nothing major to fix. One of the things I changed was the flying limousines. In the beginning of the book, the game world has flying limousines for high-level players, but somewhere along the way, all the driving ended up being on the ground. Did it still make sense to have them flying at the beginning, since it didn't really factor into anything later? Kind of yes but not enough to keep that in the book. The limos no longer fly.
Some of the more overt religious references are gone. The main character, Keelia, is a Christian, and that's central to the book. But I took out a few things that felt like they were slapping the reader in the face. Throughout the book, Keelia faces moral choices. I think it's better to show her faith through her actions, accompanied by an occasional reminder, rather than shoving it in the reader's face. People generally don't want to hear about your religion. They need to see it in action.
There are tons of little things to fix. I'm maybe a fifth of the way through.
The game Keelia gets stuck in is a spy game. On the side she also plays a mystery game, a fantasy game, etc. I was thinking of having two or three books in a series with each one being associated with a different genre of game. They wouldn't be books 1, 2 and 3. They would be stand-alone books that used the same characters. Then I thought that sounded boring. Keelia's not going to get trapped in the game in each book. That's dumb. However, the second book could be about her dad and the mystery game. I'd love to do a mystery novel. That could be it. Then, all of a sudden in the epilogue to the current book, the idea for another book in the series appeared out of nowhere. Now I have three ideas for three books. That just might work. And these are supposed to be young adult, so they're shorter and faster to do than a Messengers book.
But right now I need to focus on the B'vellah War books, right? Right. The plan is to finish up the polishing and fixing on the Keelia book then put it to the side for a month or so. During that time, I need to get some painting done along with working on Book 2 of the B'vellah War series.
For reasons of not being boring and other timing, book 2 starts a few years after book 1. The plan is to have a stand-alone, Calliope novella set between books 1 and 2. I'm kind of nervous about doing it that way, but nothing much happens in Yesh between 1 and 2. And somewhere I need to get the space era novel done. It's set during the time right after Kayley went into the future to save the miners and contains spoilers for the B'vellah War books. That would be easier to finish than another Keelia book.
That's about it this week. :)
I've been working on the YA book. I didn't get the rough draft finished last weekend the way I wanted to, but I did get it finished this week. I'm now going through it polishing it up and fixing things. It's set in the relatively near future a few years after the economic collapse and breakup of the U.S., though that's not the main focus. No, it's not a depressing dystopian novel. It's about a 16-year-old girl who, along with a few hundred other people, gets trapped in virtual reality and has to fight the forces of darkness to escape.
At this point, I hope there's nothing major to fix. One of the things I changed was the flying limousines. In the beginning of the book, the game world has flying limousines for high-level players, but somewhere along the way, all the driving ended up being on the ground. Did it still make sense to have them flying at the beginning, since it didn't really factor into anything later? Kind of yes but not enough to keep that in the book. The limos no longer fly.
Some of the more overt religious references are gone. The main character, Keelia, is a Christian, and that's central to the book. But I took out a few things that felt like they were slapping the reader in the face. Throughout the book, Keelia faces moral choices. I think it's better to show her faith through her actions, accompanied by an occasional reminder, rather than shoving it in the reader's face. People generally don't want to hear about your religion. They need to see it in action.
There are tons of little things to fix. I'm maybe a fifth of the way through.
The game Keelia gets stuck in is a spy game. On the side she also plays a mystery game, a fantasy game, etc. I was thinking of having two or three books in a series with each one being associated with a different genre of game. They wouldn't be books 1, 2 and 3. They would be stand-alone books that used the same characters. Then I thought that sounded boring. Keelia's not going to get trapped in the game in each book. That's dumb. However, the second book could be about her dad and the mystery game. I'd love to do a mystery novel. That could be it. Then, all of a sudden in the epilogue to the current book, the idea for another book in the series appeared out of nowhere. Now I have three ideas for three books. That just might work. And these are supposed to be young adult, so they're shorter and faster to do than a Messengers book.
But right now I need to focus on the B'vellah War books, right? Right. The plan is to finish up the polishing and fixing on the Keelia book then put it to the side for a month or so. During that time, I need to get some painting done along with working on Book 2 of the B'vellah War series.
For reasons of not being boring and other timing, book 2 starts a few years after book 1. The plan is to have a stand-alone, Calliope novella set between books 1 and 2. I'm kind of nervous about doing it that way, but nothing much happens in Yesh between 1 and 2. And somewhere I need to get the space era novel done. It's set during the time right after Kayley went into the future to save the miners and contains spoilers for the B'vellah War books. That would be easier to finish than another Keelia book.
That's about it this week. :)
Friday, January 22, 2016
Delayed: Update
In last night's blog, I talked about the latest computer problems. UPS delivered the new power supply today ahead of the bad weather. It works! It's much quieter than the old one. Based on the noise, I think the old one must have been defective the whole time.
Today's blog was last night, but here are a couple of links to people I saw interviewed.
http://melissaohden.com/
http://www.theabortionsurvivors.com/public-survivors-their-stories/carrie-holland-fischer/
Both were aborted but survived. Melissa's story was pretty interesting. Her grandmother forced her mother to have the abortion and then hid Melissa's survival from her and apparently forged her adoption paperwork. Years later Melissa was reunited with her mother.
Today's blog was last night, but here are a couple of links to people I saw interviewed.
http://melissaohden.com/
http://www.theabortionsurvivors.com/public-survivors-their-stories/carrie-holland-fischer/
Both were aborted but survived. Melissa's story was pretty interesting. Her grandmother forced her mother to have the abortion and then hid Melissa's survival from her and apparently forged her adoption paperwork. Years later Melissa was reunited with her mother.
Delayed
I can't get my computer to start. Remember the emergency computer that
was barely hanging in there that I used the last time I had computer
problems? I'm using it for this. It's so loud I have on the ear
protectors I use for mowing the lawn. I'm uncomfortable.
The new power supply was supposed to be here today. It didn't even ship until today. Another disappointment from Amazon Prime. I can't complain too much. I got Prime for free this time. Today would have been a good delivery day, because the temperature was up enough to melt nearly all the snow. Tomorrow might be freezing rain with a high of 34o(1oC) and winds around 40mph(64.37kph). We're under a "state of emergency". I live on a dirt road. I don't know if UPS will deliver here in icy weather. I might not be up and running until Monday. The rough draft for the next book should have been finished by now.
Writing Stuff
Lately, I've used some of my French reading time for English. I've had multiple Kindle books I pre-ordered but haven't read. I read two of them. Last night I read a third, since I was offline. One of them is by a relatively unknown indie author. One is by a well-known indie author who has at least one bestseller but not for a fiction book, I don't think. One is by a bestselling, award-winning, traditionally-published author.
The book by the unknown indie author had a massive info dump(see paragraphs 3 and 4 if needed) at the beginning before taking off. Unfortunately, it had some errors, some "errors" and some missing words. It was a good book. It just needed a bit more editing.
The book by the well-known indie author didn't work. It just flat didn't work. It did NOT work. I found the book encouraging at first, because the writing wasn't better than mine. I was thinking that if this person can be so successful, there's no reason I can't be. What if I had real covers? :) The writing improved the farther along it went, and the style kind of changed and became more literary. That made me go, hmm, and have self doubts. I don't try to be literary or flowery. "That through this heart should such a winged whisper wend" is about as flowery as I get, and that was a character quoting a romantic play for one line. I hope I have that quote right. I can't check my computer. But I don't try for that continually.
Anyway, back to the book. It didn't work. Some of the things it depended on were physically impossible. Some of the decisions by the characters made no sense. At first it wasn't too bad, but the farther along it went the more the logical impossibilities piled up until it was no longer realistic even for a fantasy novel. At one point the hero committed a crime for money. Imagine a sheriff robbing a train to get money for reelection, because the guy he's running against is a murderer. The situation was different, but the morality was the same. Also, the ending was a Hollywood movie ending, not a book ending.
I've left some things in my books that I know for a fact an editor would cut in a heartbeat. The scene with Kadmos in the temple in Millican? It would have been immediately cut, or I would have been forced to rewrite it into something more serious. I've put in explanations for readers that may or may not have been necessary. Editors catch things like those and fix them.
The well-known indie author has test readers and supposedly professional editing. Why didn't somebody say something? I assume it's because people don't like to tell someone something the person doesn't want to hear. Even if the test readers were afraid to say something, why didn't the editor? Maybe for the same reason. I'm kind of thinking the editor must be a friend of the author. Somebody should have been honest, assuming no one was. The author may have simply ignored the advice just like I sometimes do. :)
The professional author had a solid book with lots of writing technique to learn from, but it had a lot of sloppy "errors" like the ones I mentioned above but didn't explain. An "error" is technically not a mistake.
(A)Shirley picked the gun up. She slid it into her pocket before easing behind the door. The sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway.
(B)Shirley picked the gun up and slid it into her pocket prior to easing behind the door, as footsteps echoed in the hallway.
Imagine that in a paragraph. To me the first one reads kind of choppy. The second one flows better, although these aren't the greatest sentences in the world. If I combine two or three sentences in this way, I can get away with putting another sentence in the paragraph that starts with she without being repetitive.
I try to put a lot of work into making paragraphs flow smoothly so readers glide along easily. If there's a lot of action, I try to use shorter, choppier sentences but not too many, because it doesn't read right or feel right. I saw a lot of passages like A in the professional author's book. The relatively unknown indie author had a number of them, too, but probably not as many.
In A, the second sentence has two b sounds very close together, before and behind. I try to avoid that kind of awkward-sounding thing unless I do a sentence like: The birch basket slid off the chair. I'm pretty bad about putting two words together that start with the same letter. But I try to avoid certain things. I don't use the same word twice on a page. I try not to group similar sounds. I try not to group words that start with the same syllable, etc.
The pro author's "errors" are kind of tough to judge. They're not exactly mistakes. They just make the text feel sloppy. Do readers even see them? Do I only see them because I work so hard to avoid them? Did the editor ignore them because a bestseller's books are going to sell no matter what?
I'm not talking about these books to be critical of the authors. I've read other books by all of them, and they've all done some really good work. Both the indie authors have done better books than I've seen from mainstream publishers in a bookstore. The books I'm talking about aren't bad. What I'm really talking about is the editing. The first author needed experienced editing advice. The middle author needed more editing honesty. The third author needed more attention to detail by the editor.
This YA spy book for which I'm almost done with the rough draft has had me thinking a lot about an editor. The closer I get to the end, the more I think about it. Reading the three books I mentioned, especially the second one, has me thinking about it even more. It was well-written and well-crafted, and it still doesn't work. That's scary. What if this spy book ends up being well-written and crafted but fails as a book for some reason(s) I can't see because I'm too close to it?
I have a dilemma. The driveway needs to be scraped, and the landlord won't have it done. It's washed out in places and needs to be evened up. It would cost me at least $100 to pay for it myself. I may or may not get paid back. This is the month I wanted to make a big inventory purchase to really get the business off the ground. The new power supply was almost $50. There are cheaper ones, but that's what I got the last time. The smart thing to do would be to get a UPS to protect the new one, but that would be even more money.
I like this new YA book a lot, but I'm not sure it works. I took a big risk at one point that really works for the character's story. I'm just not sure it works for the book's plot. It would be really nice if I had a paid editor to tell me whether I've done the right thing or not.
I really need the money that a small business could make. On the other hand, with professional editing and a strong cover, the YA book could go somewhere. It wouldn't have to sell a lot. What if I tried to get an agent for it? I think that's a realistic possibility.
However, I can't afford to do the business purchasing and hire an editor/do the driveway. It's either one or the other. At least for a while. A cheap editor would cost 50% of what the inventory for the business would cost. I would have to save up again and hope no more emergencies popped up. I'm praying about all this stuff. I'm just not seeing a clear direction forward. I have to do something. I can't sit around wondering what to do.
God can direct the ship, but the ship needs to be moving.
The forecast has changed since I started this. It looks like ice and snow will be here in the morning. I may not have power tomorrow. If it ices over, I don't see UPS delivering the power supply until Monday.
The new power supply was supposed to be here today. It didn't even ship until today. Another disappointment from Amazon Prime. I can't complain too much. I got Prime for free this time. Today would have been a good delivery day, because the temperature was up enough to melt nearly all the snow. Tomorrow might be freezing rain with a high of 34o(1oC) and winds around 40mph(64.37kph). We're under a "state of emergency". I live on a dirt road. I don't know if UPS will deliver here in icy weather. I might not be up and running until Monday. The rough draft for the next book should have been finished by now.
Writing Stuff
Lately, I've used some of my French reading time for English. I've had multiple Kindle books I pre-ordered but haven't read. I read two of them. Last night I read a third, since I was offline. One of them is by a relatively unknown indie author. One is by a well-known indie author who has at least one bestseller but not for a fiction book, I don't think. One is by a bestselling, award-winning, traditionally-published author.
The book by the unknown indie author had a massive info dump(see paragraphs 3 and 4 if needed) at the beginning before taking off. Unfortunately, it had some errors, some "errors" and some missing words. It was a good book. It just needed a bit more editing.
The book by the well-known indie author didn't work. It just flat didn't work. It did NOT work. I found the book encouraging at first, because the writing wasn't better than mine. I was thinking that if this person can be so successful, there's no reason I can't be. What if I had real covers? :) The writing improved the farther along it went, and the style kind of changed and became more literary. That made me go, hmm, and have self doubts. I don't try to be literary or flowery. "That through this heart should such a winged whisper wend" is about as flowery as I get, and that was a character quoting a romantic play for one line. I hope I have that quote right. I can't check my computer. But I don't try for that continually.
Anyway, back to the book. It didn't work. Some of the things it depended on were physically impossible. Some of the decisions by the characters made no sense. At first it wasn't too bad, but the farther along it went the more the logical impossibilities piled up until it was no longer realistic even for a fantasy novel. At one point the hero committed a crime for money. Imagine a sheriff robbing a train to get money for reelection, because the guy he's running against is a murderer. The situation was different, but the morality was the same. Also, the ending was a Hollywood movie ending, not a book ending.
I've left some things in my books that I know for a fact an editor would cut in a heartbeat. The scene with Kadmos in the temple in Millican? It would have been immediately cut, or I would have been forced to rewrite it into something more serious. I've put in explanations for readers that may or may not have been necessary. Editors catch things like those and fix them.
The well-known indie author has test readers and supposedly professional editing. Why didn't somebody say something? I assume it's because people don't like to tell someone something the person doesn't want to hear. Even if the test readers were afraid to say something, why didn't the editor? Maybe for the same reason. I'm kind of thinking the editor must be a friend of the author. Somebody should have been honest, assuming no one was. The author may have simply ignored the advice just like I sometimes do. :)
The professional author had a solid book with lots of writing technique to learn from, but it had a lot of sloppy "errors" like the ones I mentioned above but didn't explain. An "error" is technically not a mistake.
(A)Shirley picked the gun up. She slid it into her pocket before easing behind the door. The sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway.
(B)Shirley picked the gun up and slid it into her pocket prior to easing behind the door, as footsteps echoed in the hallway.
Imagine that in a paragraph. To me the first one reads kind of choppy. The second one flows better, although these aren't the greatest sentences in the world. If I combine two or three sentences in this way, I can get away with putting another sentence in the paragraph that starts with she without being repetitive.
I try to put a lot of work into making paragraphs flow smoothly so readers glide along easily. If there's a lot of action, I try to use shorter, choppier sentences but not too many, because it doesn't read right or feel right. I saw a lot of passages like A in the professional author's book. The relatively unknown indie author had a number of them, too, but probably not as many.
In A, the second sentence has two b sounds very close together, before and behind. I try to avoid that kind of awkward-sounding thing unless I do a sentence like: The birch basket slid off the chair. I'm pretty bad about putting two words together that start with the same letter. But I try to avoid certain things. I don't use the same word twice on a page. I try not to group similar sounds. I try not to group words that start with the same syllable, etc.
The pro author's "errors" are kind of tough to judge. They're not exactly mistakes. They just make the text feel sloppy. Do readers even see them? Do I only see them because I work so hard to avoid them? Did the editor ignore them because a bestseller's books are going to sell no matter what?
I'm not talking about these books to be critical of the authors. I've read other books by all of them, and they've all done some really good work. Both the indie authors have done better books than I've seen from mainstream publishers in a bookstore. The books I'm talking about aren't bad. What I'm really talking about is the editing. The first author needed experienced editing advice. The middle author needed more editing honesty. The third author needed more attention to detail by the editor.
This YA spy book for which I'm almost done with the rough draft has had me thinking a lot about an editor. The closer I get to the end, the more I think about it. Reading the three books I mentioned, especially the second one, has me thinking about it even more. It was well-written and well-crafted, and it still doesn't work. That's scary. What if this spy book ends up being well-written and crafted but fails as a book for some reason(s) I can't see because I'm too close to it?
I have a dilemma. The driveway needs to be scraped, and the landlord won't have it done. It's washed out in places and needs to be evened up. It would cost me at least $100 to pay for it myself. I may or may not get paid back. This is the month I wanted to make a big inventory purchase to really get the business off the ground. The new power supply was almost $50. There are cheaper ones, but that's what I got the last time. The smart thing to do would be to get a UPS to protect the new one, but that would be even more money.
I like this new YA book a lot, but I'm not sure it works. I took a big risk at one point that really works for the character's story. I'm just not sure it works for the book's plot. It would be really nice if I had a paid editor to tell me whether I've done the right thing or not.
I really need the money that a small business could make. On the other hand, with professional editing and a strong cover, the YA book could go somewhere. It wouldn't have to sell a lot. What if I tried to get an agent for it? I think that's a realistic possibility.
However, I can't afford to do the business purchasing and hire an editor/do the driveway. It's either one or the other. At least for a while. A cheap editor would cost 50% of what the inventory for the business would cost. I would have to save up again and hope no more emergencies popped up. I'm praying about all this stuff. I'm just not seeing a clear direction forward. I have to do something. I can't sit around wondering what to do.
James 3:4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.
God can direct the ship, but the ship needs to be moving.
The forecast has changed since I started this. It looks like ice and snow will be here in the morning. I may not have power tomorrow. If it ices over, I don't see UPS delivering the power supply until Monday.
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